The blue sky with surreal clouds. I was like a jakun kid bouncing up and down the bike just now. Just that the bouncing in my case was due to humps on the uneven road at Yishun Dam. Its been a long time I last looked up and appreciate Nature. Usually by the time I wake up, the sun will be too glaring. And I don't get to see day change to night as often as 3 to 4 years back. I'm always indoors you see. And for a moment there, I was stunned. I kept looking at the sky.

And this sense of serene blanketed me like I needed it so desperately. I was laughing while looking at the clouds, my helmet kept banging against HaikaL's but who cares. I was enjoying myself back there. Hahah.

Some day I would want to lie on the mat and just stare at the infinte space above me. A time when there's no sun yet. Because once the sun comes out, indoors I will be.

Somebody, anybody, can you please accompany me sky-gaze. I would appreciate absolute silence though. I'm a shitload of emotions nowadays. It's not easy to let go neither is it easy to stay any longer. But everytime I tried to walk away, something keeps pulling me back and I have no freaking idea what that is. As such, everytime I stayed longer, something BIG and BAD would always happen.

I really should have walked away in May. I really, really shoud have.

Good night everybody. I'm going to sleep now. Thanks for allowing me to join your revision time with Shane. And now, after helping to summarize part of your Communication Process notes into simpler forms, I missed school so bad. Thank you for that.

hear me scream silently at 8:33 AM 0 thinks it is necessary.

Badly.

hear me scream silently at 12:30 AM 0 thinks it is necessary.

To leave house and find somewhere else?

Independent?

Seriously.

Otak aku buntu.

hear me scream silently at 11:05 PM 1 thinks it is necessary.

hear me scream silently at 1:48 AM 0 thinks it is necessary.

When I am having problems at home, the boyfriend's not there. Went missing. Sighs.

When I am having both problems, what can I do?

Lie on my bed and cry. I wish to die.

hear me scream silently at 11:50 PM 1 thinks it is necessary.

HaikaL, since you want to shut off like this then FINE.

Don't treat me like I don't mean anything to you. Don't assume I am not appreciative of what you have done for my birthday surprise. Now you know how I feel when the people around you are not appreciative of your doings?

Now you open up your eyes and look around you.

How's the feeling? Fucked up isn't it? Like no one cares. That is exactly what you are if you don't already know. I don't have to actually say it or do it online, your own mother thinks so too. Now you know how it feels like when people don't appreciate what you do?

And just for the record, I am not being unappreciative HaikaL. It's just you jumping to the stupidest conclusion. And don't play childish games with me by avoiding me since last night. You don't want to talk it over, you just want to shut off and prolong this stupid misunderstanding well then I cannot be bothered. I have tried calling you thousand and one times and you don't even have the decency to respond to my calls.

Stop wasting my time if you have the intention to let me go.

hear me scream silently at 4:09 PM 0 thinks it is necessary.

I'm at home on my 21st year!!

Looking forward to night though, wonder what the Chinos have under their sleeves..

Happy happy 21st Azian! :)

hear me scream silently at 3:44 PM 1 thinks it is necessary.